This was the place I’d rest my head, but it was never home.

Because home was never a place for me. It was always a person.

“I thought you’d come here.”

As if my thoughts brought him here, a masculine voice behind me has me lunging forward. I nearly fall over, but a large hand steadies me by gripping my forearm. Heat spreads through me at the contact, warming me from the outside in.

Zane.

He releases me, so I turn to face him, doing what I can to keep my walls firmly in place. I’d slipped out of the hospital room even before they’d given me discharge instructions because I didn’t want to have to turn his mother down on the ride I knew she was about to offer me.

The Knox family has already done too much for me, and I don’t deserve any of it. The last thing I want to do is add anything else to the invoice.

“I thought I told you that I didn’t want to see you.” My tone has lost all sting as I stand here in my childhood bedroom with the man who promised to save me from the nightmare that was my life. He was the one ray of sunshine in the otherwise pitch-black darkness I couldn’t escape.

“You did.”

“Then why are you here?”

He moves farther into the room, and the light from outside fully illuminates his tortured expression.

Outside, another bolt of lightning shoots across the sky seconds before booming thunder rattles the paper-thin walls.

“I haven’t been in this room since two weeks after you left,” he says softly.

“After?”

He nods.

There was a time when Zane would sneak over and tap on my window. I’d let him in, and he’d bring me food. We’d sit on my floor and eat together while my dad slept off the alcohol in the living room.

One night when we were eighteen, Zane fell asleep beside me on the floor. That’s all it was—innocent sleeping after a night of staying up, talking about the future we both wanted to have—but my dad stormed in and threatened to kill him. That was the night I knew I had to leave. Because, while I could take the beatings, I couldn’t stomach Zane getting hurt.

I still can’t.

I’d been a coward, though, and stayed until he nearly killed me. Zane came to my rescue then, too, and begged me to leave this life. So, I finally did.

“I broke in while your dad was passed out so I could look for any sign of you. I knew he’d hurt you. There was no evidence, but I felt it in my gut. I wasn’t sure that I’d find you alive, but I’d hoped.” His gaze shifts to me. “I guess I was right.”

The pain in his gaze is so fresh.

The ache in my heart has been multiplying with every second. “I guess so.”

He shifts his attention away from me. “Why did you come here?”

It’s a strange question, given all the others he could ask. Why did I leave? Why did I sneak out of the hospital? Why did I kick him out of my room?

And every single one of those answers is the same. Because I loved him too much to let him see me broken. So I guess it’s a good thing he avoided those. I’m sure I don’t have the strength to tell him the truth, and I don’t want to lie anymore.

Not to Zane. Not if I can help it.

Clearing my throat, I force my attention away from him. “I needed to prove to myself that this place is nothing.”

“And?”

I limp forward and lift a dust-covered stuffed animal from the shelf. It’s a white rabbit, won for me by the man standing just behind me at one of the shoreside carnivals. “There’s nothing for me here.” Even though I want to do the exact opposite, I toss the rabbit onto the bed.

He can’t know how broken I am.

He can’t see my pain.

Because I believe that, even after everything I’ve done to him, Zane Knox is still a man who would wrap me up in a safety blanket and protect me from the world. And with my track record, that might just cost him his life.

“Why do you do that?”

“Do what?” I turn toward him.

“Pretend you don’t care at all? What did I do to make you hate me?”

You loved me more than anyone else in my life ever has.

“What makes you think I hate you?”

“The way you’re acting,” he replies. “You look at me as though you can’t wait to be rid of me, all while I’m still reeling over the fact that you’re alive.”

Tears burn in the corners of my eyes as I force my gaze away from him.

Zane Knox is the only man who has ever possessed the power to break me.

My dad certainly tried; that’s for sure. He broke plenty of my bones—shattered any hope I had of ever being worth something—but Zane Knox pieced me back together in such a way that, even in my darkest moments, there was a light surrounding me.

I believed that, as long as I had him, everything would be okay.

And then I lost him, too.

“I don’t hate you,” I reply. “I just don’t have anything for you.”

He cocks his head to the side to study me in that way he does. Like he can see straight through what I want him to see, and deep into all that I try to hide. “What makes you think I want something?”

“The fact that you’re here,” I reply coolly. “You followed me all the way out here because you’re looking for any shred of the girl you knew before. She’s gone. Dead and buried along with the remnants of our relationship.” The words are frigid, but my voice trembles as I force myself to say what he needs to hear. Or rather, what I need him to hear because he’s still looking at me like I was good enough for him.

I never was.

Zane doesn’t respond, so I turn away from him and limp over toward the closet. Since my apartment was ransacked, I can’t go back there. Which means the only clothes I own are the ones on my back. Thankfully, I still wear roughly the same size I did in high school, so my hope is that there are still some clothes here I can salvage.

“How is your pain?” It shouldn’t thrill me that he cares, but it does. There was never a safer place for me than in his strong arms. Even back when we were little more than teenagers with no idea what waited for us on the other side of a marriage we were probably far too young to be considering in the first place.

But I can’t focus on that now because it’s dangerous territory. Like treading water in the middle of a hurricane. Outside, more thunder booms. The storm is right on the horizon now—much like the one in my heart.

“Why didn’t you become a doctor?” I counter as I withdraw a pair of jeans and a baggy t-shirt. They smell terrible, so I shove them back into the closet. I might be desperate to stop looking like I walked through a muddy fan blade, but not that desperate.

Crossing to my dresser, I wait for him to answer.

Zane lets out a deep breath. “I will only answer your questions if you start answering mine.”

Run, Tessa. Put distance between you two, and be done with it.

Unfortunately, curiosity has always gotten the better of me. “Fine. But we don’t talk about the night I left. I won’t answer a single thing about that. And I get the option of saying pass.” It’s a precedent that needs to be set because I can’t have him knowing the truth. Not even now, all these years later.

“The same goes for me, then,” he replies.

I withdraw a pair of sweats and a baggy t-shirt from my bottom drawer. Since these were somewhat closed in, the smell is subtle enough that I can deal with it. “Deal. I need to change first.”

Without waiting for me to ask, he starts to turn—then hesitates. He doesn’t even have to speak the words for me to know why he takes a pause.

“I won’t bail, Zane.” I’m honestly surprised it’s the truth, but maybe that’s more good that can come of my being here. I can finally close the chapter, not just on this trailer—but on Zane, too.

Without another word, he moves out into the hall and closes the door. The panic kicks in the moment that faint click registers.

Trapped.

My breathing goes ragged, and the walls begin to close in on me. How many times was I locked in this room?

Darkness overtakes the edges of my vision, and my heart hammers so loud I can’t even hear the storm brewing outside.

How many times did my father trap me in here because he was angry?

How many times did I go days without food because I was too afraid to sneak out the window to find some?

I don’t even hear the door open, but then Zane is in front of me. “Breathe, Tessa.” His hands go to my face, and I suck in a ragged breath, still too terrified to be bothered that he’s seeing me like this. “You’re safe. You can see me. I’m here. Feel my hands.”

Touch. Sight. Sound. I use those senses to get a grasp on reality, but it’s still not enough.

I’ll never be safe. Not really. What happened in Savannah is proof of that.

“Lord, please wrap Tessa in Your arms. Please help her focus on You.”

I can’t even find the words to tell him I’m pretty sure God gave up on me a long, long time ago. As he continues to pray, his hands gently cupping my cheeks, my breathing begins to slow, and the walls ease up.

When I can finally see clearly, I pull away from him. A chill runs up my spine at the sudden distance, but I don’t give in and lean back toward him.

Zane drops his hands.

“I’m fine. Thanks.” But my tone is anything but steady.

He dips his head in a nod. It’s hardly the first panic attack he’s helped me out of. In fact, there was a time when only Zane could save me once the fear kicked in. Seems that, too, hasn’t changed.

“Please leave the door open. Just step into the hall out of sight.”

Zane hesitates a moment but nods and moves out into the hall.

My dusty bed creaks when I take a seat to remove my shoes. As I do, I reach beneath my mattress and withdraw the knife I kept tucked safely away. Running my fingers over my name carved in the wooden casing of the pocketknife, more tears fill my eyes.

Another thing Zane gave me.

He was the first one to ever give me a Christmas present. And this was it. Not a single night went by that I slept without it. Until I’d decided never to come back to this place. I’d forgotten it in my haste to escape, but I’d never forgotten it. Or the kindness he’d shown me.

I set it aside on the bed and kick off my shoes. As soon as they’re on the floor, I take a deep breath and undo the buttons of my shorts. I lie back on the bed and start coughing when dust fills my lungs.

“Are you okay?”

“Fine,” I bite out, then try to stand. With the injury on my thigh, standing on one leg to get the shorts off is going to be impossible. Fantastic. I tug the shorts back up over my thighs. “Actually. Can you help me?”

He moves into the space wordlessly, his muscular frame taking up far more room than he should have. “What do you need me to do?”

“Close your eyes and help me get the shorts off my legs. The bed is dusty and—”

Zane shuts his eyes tightly and turns his face away. His large hands splay on my waist, and I suck in a breath as he quickly slides the shorts down over my hips. I grip his shoulders with both hands, giving him my weight as I lift each leg free.

Pain shoots up through my injured thigh, but as soon as I shift the weight to my uninjured leg, it becomes manageable again.

As I release his shoulder and steady myself on the dresser, Zane turns away completely. “What else?” he asks.

Everything. I shake the thought away. Needing anyone is a risk. But needing Zane? That’s a trap I can’t risk falling into. “I’m not sure I can hold myself steady enough to get the sweats on.”

Eyes still closed, Zane holds an arm out, so I take it and guide him toward my upper arm. He holds me, gaze turned away, eyes closed, as I slip into the sweats.

“Okay, thanks. You can open your eyes.”

He does, then moves out of the room again when I shrug out of my jacket. Thankfully, the injury to my thigh doesn’t cause me any issues as I change my shirt and put my hair up in a ponytail. After I pull my jacket back on, I limp back to the bed to put my shoes on.

“You can come in.”

Zane steps back into the room and immediately crosses to me before sinking to his knees. Without asking, he takes my shoe and slips it onto my foot.

“I can do that.”

“It’s easier on your leg if I do it,” he replies.

He’s right, but Zane Knox kneeling in front of me is too much for me to handle. Especially when he glances up at me through thick, dark eyelashes, his green gaze so bright it’s nearly blinding.

“Why didn’t you become a doctor?” I ask again, hoping that if we start this Twenty Questions game, we can get it over with, and I can move on.

“That depends on who you ask,” he replies.

“That’s not an answer.”

“It’s the only one you’re getting right now. Is someone after you?”

“I already answered that back at the hospital. I don’t know.”

“That’s not the whole truth.” His sharp gaze is trained on my face, not missing a single flicker of emotion as it passes over my features.

“Someone tossed my apartment,” I reply, because I know this questioning will get nowhere if one of us doesn’t give in. “I found my door ajar and peeked inside to see that everything had been tossed. I ran and was jumped just outside.”

“Where?”

“Savannah.”

“Georgia?”

“That’s the one.”

He nods and crosses his arms, his powerful stance igniting an even stronger attraction within me.

Get it together, Tessa.

“Is that where you’ve been for the last eighteen years?” The question is a punch to my gut because it’s exactly what I’d wanted to avoid. How do you tell the man you loved more than anything that you chose to leave him out of fear?

That living a half-life was easier than a simple one with him?

That the pain was more familiar than the love, so you chose the former?